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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (45561)
On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6981) - you deserved it (20104)
On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33696) - you deserved it (2417)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5410) - you deserved it (20662)
On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (27612)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8024) - you deserved it (25739)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38511) - you deserved it (2231)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (10123)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (1252)
On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9817) - you deserved it (6433)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you deserved it (36532)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6962) - you deserved it (26229)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Monday 20 May 2013
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