Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fuck_this_shit_5

Search for a member

fuck_this_shit_5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3198
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fuck_this_shit_5's page activity

Visits<b>iHazTheMuffinz</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:38pm<b>volleygirl16</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b>Daileass</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 9:25am<b>LilAfo</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:42pm<b>BlackHawk214</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 7:08pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 2:02pm<b>jramos0070</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 2:08pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 09/28/2010 at 3:57pm<b>teoriginalG</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 1:39pm<b>pureplastic90210</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 9:26pm<b>yankeeskid</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 7:23pm<b>Jovanah</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 11:19pm<b>dirtynsweet</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 10:35pm<b>Football_5tar_JR</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 2:46pm<b>Sexy_beast22</b> - the 09/15/2010 at 4:15pm<b>jackygirl2</b> - the 09/14/2010 at 8:45pm<b>Bliitz1</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 8:03am

fuck_this_shit_5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fuck_this_shit_5's favorite FMLs

Today, my heating broke. It's 22 degrees outside, and my father won't let us call someone to fix it because apparently the cold helps the soul grow. FML

#7708353
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:45pm - misc - by vikhelios - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (51756)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42186) - you deserved it (11934)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

#7550424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (3839)

On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39791) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (34026)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8579) - you deserved it (19320)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49926) - you deserved it (7889)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (5815)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27209) - you deserved it (4925)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (11827)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (60332)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (28546)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: