Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fuck_this_shit_5

Search for a member

fuck_this_shit_5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3204
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fuck_this_shit_5's page activity

Visits<b>iHazTheMuffinz</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:38pm<b>volleygirl16</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:40pm<b>Daileass</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 9:25am<b>LilAfo</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 4:42pm<b>BlackHawk214</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 7:08pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 2:02pm<b>jramos0070</b> - the 10/03/2010 at 2:08pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 09/28/2010 at 3:57pm<b>teoriginalG</b> - the 09/23/2010 at 1:39pm<b>pureplastic90210</b> - the 09/22/2010 at 9:26pm<b>yankeeskid</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 7:23pm<b>Jovanah</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 11:19pm<b>dirtynsweet</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 10:35pm<b>Football_5tar_JR</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 2:46pm<b>Sexy_beast22</b> - the 09/15/2010 at 4:15pm<b>jackygirl2</b> - the 09/14/2010 at 8:45pm<b>Bliitz1</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 8:03am

fuck_this_shit_5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fuck_this_shit_5's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (127999)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

#12288946
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32024) - you deserved it (3631)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:13pm - misc - by missalexa - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72705) - you deserved it (4205)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

#12283970
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7962) - you deserved it (49267)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (5269)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (11341)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (3465)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you deserved it (54019)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (4632)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (4978)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (9420)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (3070)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

#12108536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (9720)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34892) - you deserved it (5217)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: