Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fuck_this_shit_5

Search for a member

fuck_this_shit_5
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2861
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fuck_this_shit_5's last visitors

iHazTheMuffinzFreezeZebrasofa13LilAfolilauer13teoriginalGpureplastic90210

fuck_this_shit_5's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fuck_this_shit_5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (11920)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (16133)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17733) - you deserved it (6954)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (7607)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

#13865567
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (4473)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (3435)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (32120)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (6922)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

#12304644
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (7748)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:28am - work - by Ploeboi (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38421) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (6552)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: