Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

friscocali

Search for a member

friscocali
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3549
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

friscocali's last visitors

Monikabug

friscocali's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

friscocali's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (12366)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

#6969342
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:34am - money - by Cheap (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (83604)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

#5896652
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (6843)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7987) - you deserved it (44828)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (6378)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

#5425819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19296) - you deserved it (40795)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML

#5002663
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17783) - you deserved it (38005)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (4629)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (76072)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (20349)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (3674)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35521) - you deserved it (6309)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: