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free_a_nipper's favorite FMLs
by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML
by MsGlaDos / 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML
by why mom, why? / 06/12/2013 at 12:59am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML
by Elephant1718 / 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Love
by sadgirl / 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
by wellthanks / 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Work
by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 1:26am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
by Crazy Mom / 06/10/2013 at 1:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
- Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my… Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my… Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've…