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forrestinoly

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forrestinoly

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  • Number of visits : 39
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Visits<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 2:26pm<b>JrLee87</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 4:32pm

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forrestinoly's favorite FMLs

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48337) - you deserved it (4572)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (2623)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States



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