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foreveralone111

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foreveralone111
  • Town/Country : Rensselaer, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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foreveralone111's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51331) - you deserved it (5741)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54460) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47110) - you deserved it (9789)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (13407)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52586) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50944) - you deserved it (8424)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (5174)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46585) - you deserved it (15058)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57252) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74008) - you deserved it (4122)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31462) - you deserved it (2368)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43059) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)



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