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forest1wolf

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forest1wolf
  • Town/Country : Twilight Forest, Earth
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About forest1wolf : Yes, I speak dog.

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forest1wolf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

#5971275
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (5476)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

#3856555
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48036) - you deserved it (3252)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63724) - you deserved it (4611)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37593) - you deserved it (26378)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247983) - you deserved it (14288)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55228) - you deserved it (6560)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (7686)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266204) - you deserved it (49522)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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