About forest1wolf : Yes, I speak dog.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was trying to write an essay for school while sleep deprived. After getting 7 pages into it, I crashed face-first onto the keyboard and slept for 20 minutes. When I woke up, my essay was nothing more than a blank document. My face had been pressing the Backspace button the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15293) - you deserved it (23513)
On 11/10/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by IHateYouBackspace (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (4523)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (35285)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by noballs - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (2552)
On 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58462) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34651) - you deserved it (21063)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207602) - you deserved it (10113)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50032) - you deserved it (5483)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (6922)
On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408037) - you deserved it (26474)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (222778) - you deserved it (37825)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527028) - you deserved it (37883)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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