foreeverwhat

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Offline (the 12/24/2015 at 6:35pm)

foreeverwhat

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About foreeverwhat : Hey I'm Dani, if you wanna know more about me message me :)

foreeverwhat's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:10am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:18pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:07am<b>blackrose8899</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:16pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:57am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:24pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:27pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:16am

Fucked!<b>dno79</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:10pm

foreeverwhat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of foreeverwhat's badges

foreeverwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

by me / 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

by fmlgrl / 07/30/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

by clayton / 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm / Norway (Ostfold) / Kids

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

by maddiebauer / 07/26/2012 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health