foreeverwhat

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Offline (the 12/24/2015 at 6:35pm)

foreeverwhat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14001
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About foreeverwhat : Hey I'm Dani, if you wanna know more about me message me :)

foreeverwhat's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 7:18pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:07am<b>blackrose8899</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 9:16pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:57am<b>doctor__who</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:47am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:24pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:27pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:16am

foreeverwhat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of foreeverwhat's badges

foreeverwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

by management / 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm / United States / Work

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

by ugh / 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

by idiot says pussy / 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm / United States / Intimacy