Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

foreeverwhat

Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 6:38pm) | Search for a member

foreeverwhat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11506
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About foreeverwhat : Hey I'm Dani, if you wanna know more about me message me :)

foreeverwhat's page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:55pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:24pm<b>chanelleyy</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:27pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:16am

foreeverwhat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of foreeverwhat's badges

foreeverwhat's favorite FMLs

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57769) - you deserved it (14433)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53516) - you deserved it (7823)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46499) - you deserved it (9062)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54196) - you deserved it (4746)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (45831)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (5730)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (12089)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (35127)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (3041)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44520) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (6012)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (58581)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: