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foodlord

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foodlord
  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 January 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About foodlord : Hi. I'm Alana.

foodlord's last visitors

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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foodlord's favorite FMLs

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (32623)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

#2067937
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63476) - you deserved it (2616)

On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (315165) - you deserved it (27808)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (119622)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (387636) - you deserved it (29640)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

#172580
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47573) - you deserved it (9037)

On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
965 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (584302)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (986706) - you deserved it (78466)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (323024)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (6096)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version



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