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foodlord

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foodlord

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 823
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About foodlord : Hi. I'm Alana.

foodlord's page activity

Visits<b>hunteredmundson</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:45pm<b>Tomfire9</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:39am<b>wellfme</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:01pm<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:06pm<b>tucansamTommyG</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:41pm<b>greentide</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:59pm<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:56am<b>sporkster</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:06am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:01am<b>ryanator008</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 12:25am<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:05am<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Jpeviest</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:46pm<b>DrMessed</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:55pm<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:34pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 9:16pm<b>lil_ham1644</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:07pm

foodlord's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of foodlord's badges

foodlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (42619)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (158981)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13629) - you deserved it (124627)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (481171) - you deserved it (45988)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

#172580
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53913) - you deserved it (15435)

On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
999 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71228) - you deserved it (743516)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1163825) - you deserved it (125715)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
962 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73433) - you deserved it (427429)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (8146)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version



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