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fmltom
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 December 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 594
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About fmltom : I enjoy FMLs.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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fmltom's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (5823)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

#18703158
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (58830)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5049) - you deserved it (61374)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

#18217794
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (7172)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:37am - animals - by Pk45 (man) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (7535)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (64570)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (30180)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17533) - you deserved it (62190)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104415) - you deserved it (14016)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94186) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22823) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (44847)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)



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