About fmltom : I enjoy FMLs.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52866) - you deserved it (3097)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (11265)
On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14237) - you deserved it (49672)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15996) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (1395)
On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (1539)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (2300)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you deserved it (1814)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28326) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16319) - you deserved it (1788)
On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (1922)
On 03/18/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by jamboooy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (1612)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (5434)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (57296)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4210) - you deserved it (48479)
On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Friday 24 May 2013
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