fmltom

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Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 7:34pm)

fmltom

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1357
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About fmltom : I enjoy FMLs.

fmltom's page activity

Visits<b>LaLince</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:43am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 04/27/2012 at 1:24am<b>Cad6</b> - the 04/26/2012 at 4:29pm

fmltom's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of fmltom's badges

fmltom's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 12:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML