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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fmlsoobad

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fmlsoobad
  • Town/Country : Washington dc, United states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fmlsoobad's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (2696)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (8412)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (15220) - you deserved it (7280)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (17524) - you deserved it (20290)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (19828)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (10328) - you deserved it (33707)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (5697) - you deserved it (38561)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

#12212873 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (15393)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:40pm - love - by nitroman64 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

#11991356 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (15520) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/19/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by PrintMaster - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (6993)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (4687)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (31662)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (5768) - you deserved it (15349)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)