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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fml1467

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fml1467
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1107
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (53359)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

#1079164 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (83788) - you deserved it (3581)

On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (10989)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (70064)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (13035) - you deserved it (173589)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)