Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fluropanda

Search for a member

fluropanda

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1388
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fluropanda's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fluropanda's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59946) - you deserved it (6315)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (144102)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57859) - you deserved it (21646)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (105747)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171113) - you deserved it (30644)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (668447) - you deserved it (449435)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML

#248293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48942) - you deserved it (5098)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

#232729
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166612) - you deserved it (10352)

On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237427) - you deserved it (82085)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: