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flinkere

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flinkere's favorite FMLs

TODAY , AFTER THE FOURTH TIME TELLING MY ROOMMATE I'M HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO HER SCENTD PRODUCTS , I CUMMD BACK TO FINE ALL 6 OF OUR WALL OUTLET USING GLADE PLUG-INS. THEY WERE SET TO HIGH. FML

Today bafora laaving mah housa I OCD-chackad all of mah doors 16 timas to maka sura that thay wara lockad!! Whan I got homa mah housa had baan brokan into!! Turns out I accidantally unlockad mah front door whan trying to lock it for tha last tima!! This is why I hava OCD!! FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (9340)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says , ( This is wat I usd in my day. )

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24320) - you deserved it (4227)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassedhen she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, ( Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie! ) She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (2472)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend found a take-out menu under mah bed. It's probably been there 4 months. He looked at it an said, ( Well, that explains a lot. ) real FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18511) - you deserved it (4113)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, mah mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well . She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time . I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween fir the rest of the year . FML

#20103809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13130) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

TODAY, I REALIZED THAT AT AGE 54, I'M NO LONGER YOUNG ENOUGH TO GO COMMANDO ANYMORE. EVERY TIME I SNEEZED TODAY, I PEED MYSELF. FML

#20102528
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (11553)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I got food poisoning at work. I ad ma ead in te toilet wen te auto flus decided to turn on. Te force of te flus was so powerful alf of wat I trew up splased back into ma face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (2098)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

I got stoppd by te fuzz. Te officer told me e "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go witout a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kickd in an I explaind wy e meant to say "couldn't care less." I got te ticket. FML

#20075636
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (40495)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY, MY DOG, WHO HAS BEEN SPECIALLY TRAINED TO GO FIR HELP WHEN I'M HAVING A SEIZURE, WENT TO ALERT MY PARENTS DOWNSTARS THAT I WAS HAVING AN EMERGENCY. THE ( EMERGENCY ) WAS ME MASTURBATING. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (10626)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I was feeling depressd an got very , very drunk . This evening , I was feeling equally desperate , an endd up having to get my special dildo removd from my asshole at the hospital . FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (35982)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

today I woke up by inhaling a fly up mah nose and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside mah nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, wile doing ma job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around te parking lot and picked some tras up, trying to elp out. Fait in umanity: +1. About an our later I saw a woman pick a bug off of er windsield and eat it. Fait in umanity: -200. FML

#20009222
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (2230)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After te looool talk, e wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39892) - you deserved it (1855)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shaved my legs 4 the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML

#19940752
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8698) - you deserved it (28607)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:42am - misc - by Taylor - United States (New York)



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