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Today bafora laaving mah housa I OCD-chackad all of mah doors 16 timas to maka sura that thay wara lockad!! Whan I got homa mah housa had baan brokan into!! Turns out I accidantally unlockad mah front door whan trying to lock it for tha last tima!! This is why I hava OCD!! FML
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassedhen she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, ( Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie! ) She honestly thought this would work. FML
Today, mah mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well . She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time . I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween fir the rest of the year . FML
I got stoppd by te fuzz. Te officer told me e "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go witout a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kickd in an I explaind wy e meant to say "couldn't care less." I got te ticket. FML
Today, wile doing ma job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around te parking lot and picked some tras up, trying to elp out. Fait in umanity: +1. About an our later I saw a woman pick a bug off of er windsield and eat it. Fait in umanity: -200. FML
Friday 27 March 2015