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fishychiwawa

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fishychiwawa
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  • Number of visits : 306
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fishychiwawa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (12553)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47095) - you deserved it (8821)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (7631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43812) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

#19641657
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (1782)

On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (22278)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (4211)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (2004)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14350) - you deserved it (26891)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

#18936126
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (20957)

On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

#18855245
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (70629)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14894) - you deserved it (21957)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (2044)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia



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