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fishychiwawa's favorite FMLs
by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ohyesIfeelspecial / 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
by GothicbunnyxC / 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Miscellaneous
by tiptoesjohnson / 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by sosadbuttrue / 01/14/2012 at 8:15am / Switzerland (Glarus) / Intimacy
by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…