Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

firegirl1993

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

firegirl1993

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3378
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About firegirl1993 : A few things I flippin love:
Harry Potter, Sherlock, Doctor Who, MLP, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Merlin, Castle, and The Big Bang Theory.

Because I get asked a lot, I was born on the fourth of July, and a lot of people connect that to FIREcrackers, and so my user name is FIREgirl

firegirl1993's page activity

Visits<b>15499kiwis</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:26pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:11pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:36am<b>SaxyRed</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:08am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:49am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:49pm<b>imyy</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:23pm<b>chase201</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:17pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:18am<b>AdrastosArmor</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:07pm<b>rockytop33</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:13am<b>cats1116</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Jameslicious</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:53am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:14am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:52am<b>forsaken74</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:00am

firegirl1993's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of firegirl1993's badges

firegirl1993's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (23340)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (4261)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (1682)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

#20033849
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (5311)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (1598)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML

#19988318
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (18869)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:17am - kids - by love_to_live - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (4400)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (4400)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62462) - you deserved it (5037)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (4919)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (4786)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: