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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (10249)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (64139)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (6480)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15596) - you deserved it (1895)
On 10/31/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (4095)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9029) - you deserved it (27252)
On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to bring her to her AA meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5294) - you deserved it (21475)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (2072)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (2916)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (4241)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10551) - you deserved it (2126)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30922) - you deserved it (8324)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (6411)
On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5585) - you deserved it (14412)
On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39011) - you deserved it (11779)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
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