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fiixon

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fiixon

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  • Number of visits : 275
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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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fiixon's favorite FMLs

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47831) - you deserved it (4343)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (35804)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55037) - you deserved it (64169)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (40915)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55460) - you deserved it (9863)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

#18632111
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8365) - you deserved it (34142)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:59am - misc - by GeriGeriBoBeri - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (15530)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (4551)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (4550)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38102) - you deserved it (5695)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (4247)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (12090)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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