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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16142
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>racquel1115</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Slayer9805</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:15pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:08pm<b>ionab101</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:24am<b>liebe_lule</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:44am<b>depressedpianist</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 10:57pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 12:13am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08pm<b>guzzerz89</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:54pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:29pm<b>mcduckens</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:03am<b>Mentally_Artsy</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:17am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:11am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>SilverStillwater</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:18am

Fucked!<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (5234)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59642) - you deserved it (16727)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48526) - you deserved it (3885)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML


I agree, your life sucks (60390) - you deserved it (5837)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53295) - you deserved it (11472)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60129) - you deserved it (7100)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (3374)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71596) - you deserved it (4625)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML


I agree, your life sucks (58550) - you deserved it (4816)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48207) - you deserved it (5115)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73397) - you deserved it (6985)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73912) - you deserved it (4363)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML


I agree, your life sucks (50921) - you deserved it (3392)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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