About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5742) - you deserved it (21091)
On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (1587)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5236) - you deserved it (20032)
On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13488) - you deserved it (3347)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10359) - you deserved it (34465)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (3612)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (3370)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm - health - by JurassicHole (man) - United States
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (2889)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (4186)
On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7302) - you deserved it (14441)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (1906)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (2828)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (7079)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (19757)
On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5771) - you deserved it (24992)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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