Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Search for a member

fightingkittens
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3103
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's last visitors

cr3ativityPotteriaIssy_MarieWhoaIsMe93BellaBelleDenny1happylappyallforyoux3Kyle_Kawi27

fightingkittens's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14865) - you deserved it (1079)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (4177)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (21677)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

#19931628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (22697)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1971)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (2113)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15848) - you deserved it (4464)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (2069)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (1074)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (2004)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (1241)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (4286)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2879)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34125) - you deserved it (2876)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: