fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

33Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18565
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:11pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 4:06am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:31pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:21am<b>captainwhiskers</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 2:50pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 9:17pm<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 7:40pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 4:33pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:45pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 3:24am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 8:27pm<b>BShek</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:17pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:50am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:53pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:44pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:29pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:09pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am

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The Thumb returns

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Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

by dumped / 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

by st00pid / 03/04/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

by Pickle / 03/03/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Work

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

by Goatbeard / 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

by Jaws / 02/10/2011 at 11:09am / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy