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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 5307
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (1777)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (20737)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (11830)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10282) - you deserved it (34804)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10464) - you deserved it (28240)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

#6493156
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (9011)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (39656)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67715) - you deserved it (11295)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (2819)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

#6431680
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6482) - you deserved it (20268)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2403)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (45719)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)



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