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Offline (the 10/23/2016 at 3:20am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20854
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 3:02pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:55am<b>MM100</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:07am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:52pm<b>Michael978</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 12:12am<b>Nina_Kristy</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 12:13am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:13pm<b>username635</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:32am<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 9:16am<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 11:53am<b>wil1029</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 8:57pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:15pm<b>BandsRuleBro</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 7:00am<b>killintime379</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:16pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:13pm

Fucked!<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:13am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:13pm<b>csjc</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:55pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:25am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:09pm<b>dno79</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

by Username / 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

by ajdown / 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

by patrickalamo / 06/14/2011 at 10:23am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

by Flarewolf / 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous