About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6183) - you deserved it (69501)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (21319)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (54860)
On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10941) - you deserved it (42229)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64612) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (16864)
On 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by duuuuude (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10665) - you deserved it (40413)
On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by biologyfailure. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
I agree, your life sucks (86277) - you deserved it (17601)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100754) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (33440)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (100287)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (56257)
On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199005) - you deserved it (58779)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (54565)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72174) - you deserved it (13917)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
