About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
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Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43654) - you deserved it (4458)
On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81122) - you deserved it (15203)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81122) - you deserved it (15203)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63897) - you deserved it (4979)
On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (58781)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45139) - you deserved it (5994)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58460) - you deserved it (4580)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (49256)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (4514)
On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (31102)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (109157)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (51217)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (2456)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50278) - you deserved it (12055)
On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (1917)
On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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