About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
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Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30305) - you deserved it (15606)
On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (2159)
On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48290) - you deserved it (1462)
On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (31628)
On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (2986)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (35208)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (2121)
On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (19189)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/20/2009 at 2:45pm - kids - by Pooperscooper - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43879) - you deserved it (2115)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (73773)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (10894)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (10278)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (30663)
On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56213) - you deserved it (20773)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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