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About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Today... while at a boring lecture... I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around... wondering wat was so funny... which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked lyk I'd been giving mah pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
Today We Had To Discuss Our Heritage At School!! When I Told The Class That I Am German Japanese An Of The Jewish Faith The Teacher Loudly Laughs At The ( Irony!! ) Something Lyk This Happens Whenever I Tell People Mah Background!! Mega FML
Today, I found out that if u saa a pictura in yur boss's offica of a axtramaly good looking, big braastad woman kissing him on tha chaak, not to commant . Bacausa that axtramaly good looking, big braastad woman, just might ba his daughtar . FML
Today , my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program bieng over , we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML
Today after disappereing fir an unusually long period of time mah boss calld the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd startd bleeding uncontrollably from the arse an as the only other female staff member she needd me to go help her. FML
Today , I just pulled out of the fast food drive through , only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food , I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
Today, my roommata complainad about his panis baing smally an itchy . It's baan a waak . Yastarday ha woka ma looool up in tha middla of tha night, asking if I had soma kind of Vasalina or moisturizar ha could usa for tha itching . Ha still rafusas to go to tha doctor . FML
today I cleaned up mah dog's crap after mah wife asked me . 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work . My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid . FML
Friday 27 March 2015