Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Online | Search for a member

fightingkittens

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9845
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>countrygirl2272</b> - 13 hours ago<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:00am<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 3:12pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:42am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:54am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:19am<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:28am<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 10:11pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:34am<b>allycat00316</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 10:27am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 5:57pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:18am<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:57pm<b>tellyc</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:30am

Liked!<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (4746)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (3127)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12749) - you deserved it (32170)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (4806)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (3586)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33925) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13878) - you deserved it (60657)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11389) - you deserved it (34981)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69924) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58705) - you deserved it (6934)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13788) - you deserved it (20369)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3287)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: