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fightingkittens

Offline (the 07/30/2015 at 10:43pm) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14598
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:06am<b>saladbar401</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:28pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>kcoffey_69</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:03am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Joel541</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:44am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:52am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:56am<b>blubje</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:08am

Fucked!<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11289) - you deserved it (82113)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46335) - you deserved it (4341)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (25342)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (15666)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42273) - you deserved it (6285)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

#16714444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (2249)

On 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by ajdown (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (45735)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14902) - you deserved it (37541)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40805) - you deserved it (4470)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (9672)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (16386)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (43764)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (43764)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

#16367769
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (7386)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2941)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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