Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11672
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - yesterday at 2:03am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:41pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:17pm<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:08am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 8:11pm<b>Valukar</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:04am<b>anitak912</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:10am<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:49pm<b>volleyforlife31</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:24am<b>MasterPug</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:29pm<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:20pm<b>melissaferns</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:19pm<b>harley1077</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:55am

Liked!<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (3770)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (2760)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9215) - you deserved it (51409)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (2645)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12380) - you deserved it (56751)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (33494)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (5406)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (7601)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (6522)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

#17064956
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42059) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (4079)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (43257)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31126) - you deserved it (2371)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: