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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14146
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>saladbar401</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:28pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Joel541</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:44am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:52am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:56am<b>blubje</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:08am<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:21am<b>deaconsmom</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:49am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:23am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:51am

Fucked!<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (2483)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (49494)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (49494)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (5460)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (2783)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37066) - you deserved it (2758)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8923) - you deserved it (24648)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (3441)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (5990)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (2850)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60734) - you deserved it (7446)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (2618)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (2971)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)



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