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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15558
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>saladbar401</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:16pm<b>wangwong</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:27pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:44pm<b>AnonymousBella</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>aswethinkweiz</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:29pm<b>doggybonez66</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Hollywood_Marine</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:24am<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Spyderbane</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:45pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:13pm<b>youarehigh</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:56pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:46pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:29pm<b>jedijesus</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 5:01pm

Fucked!<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm

fightingkittens's FML badges


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39578) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45188) - you deserved it (9087)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50057) - you deserved it (4144)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (3396)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43336) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (12678)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47005) - you deserved it (8703)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML


I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (18445)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55026) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47173) - you deserved it (6748)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52022) - you deserved it (7859)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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