fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17980
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>rissamarie</b> - yesterday at 8:27pm<b>BShek</b> - yesterday at 5:17pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:50am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:53pm<b>StyrisSand</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 7:44pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:29pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:19am<b>racerboy102</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:07pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 5:56pm<b>storethis</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:27pm<b>Testing1234</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:38pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 2:14am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 2:57am<b>saxyguy</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:13pm<b>cetharel</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:18am<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:44pm

Fucked!<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:50am<b>Carnage23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 5:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:36am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

by Microtron / 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2014 at 11:02am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

by supertacowaffle / 11/28/2014 at 3:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

by mainlineloser / 11/28/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

by amazinghermit / 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Animals

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

by Airplane crap / 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm / United States (Kansas) / Transportation

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation