Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Online | Search for a member

fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7072
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03am<b>baconburger300</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:45pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:05am<b>ladycarousel</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:14pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:49am<b>Vball6</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:55am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:53pm<b>cattturine</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:33am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:54am<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:01am<b>Raxal</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:52pm<b>tg1tg1</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:44am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (2303)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3650)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (2646)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8932) - you deserved it (50533)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (4913)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (4913)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (2546)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12323) - you deserved it (56526)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10411) - you deserved it (32039)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62228) - you deserved it (7312)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (5283)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (6380)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

#17064956
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41880) - you deserved it (3827)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10224) - you deserved it (43086)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: