Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Offline (yesterday at 11:36pm) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11858
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>pangbang</b> - yesterday at 7:51am<b>JustBeingMe99</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:10pm<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:03am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:41pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:17pm<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:08am<b>Valukar</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:04am<b>anitak912</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:10am<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:49pm<b>volleyforlife31</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:24am<b>MasterPug</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:29pm<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:20pm<b>melissaferns</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:19pm

Liked!<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (3518)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (3515)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
681 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (49372)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
681 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (49372)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35100) - you deserved it (2589)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (22904)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (5804)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (2844)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58357) - you deserved it (7196)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (4779)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (2532)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: