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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15005
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>revolutionbabe</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:21pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 6:19pm<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>seninaa</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:50am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:50am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:06am<b>saladbar401</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:28pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>kcoffey_69</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:03am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am

Fucked!<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (19810)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25069) - you deserved it (17656) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53153) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (6716)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53698) - you deserved it (8346)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (6110) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29553) - you deserved it (4878)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (2814)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (3468)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (2111)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

#17910752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (7986)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:29am - kids - by Pissed (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10253) - you deserved it (22421)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom



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