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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7047
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (2298)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
676 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (49150)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
676 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (49150)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35824) - you deserved it (2578)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34851) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8125) - you deserved it (22760)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (2722)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58047) - you deserved it (7172)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30387) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

#17525385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2439)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)



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