Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Online | Search for a member

fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8021
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:00am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:33pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:56am<b>allie2590</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:08am<b>braver7315</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:43am<b>ccr386590</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:16pm<b>morrow32</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:06am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:36pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:49am<b>gingervitis217</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:09am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:00pm<b>baconburger300</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:45pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:05am<b>ladycarousel</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:14pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:49am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (9430)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (2528)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (2136)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39327) - you deserved it (7096)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30813) - you deserved it (2931)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (2899)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (2345)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (3055)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (3453)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (3418)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

#17592588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (2303)

On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (49217)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: