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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

29Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16864
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:59am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:07am<b>Ninjahiga</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:30am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:37am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:55am<b>ImaKoala</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:34am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:36pm<b>caliguy08</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:43pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:19pm<b>biggins224</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:33am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:56am<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:40am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:35am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:36am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

#21376328
109 comments

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32769) - you deserved it (2781)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34886) - you deserved it (3443)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (12571)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (6662)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33461) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (3721)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (35901)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (5310)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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