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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12590
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>Caroline1812</b> - yesterday at 10:06pm<b>frogpotatoz088</b> - yesterday at 6:15pm<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:29pm<b>ImDoghouse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:54pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:11am<b>bjf21</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:39pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:06pm<b>anshu0688</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:02am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:42pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:54am<b>allie2590</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:02am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:52pm<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:22pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:05pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:54pm

Fucked!<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48332) - you deserved it (3996)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (2813)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (2922)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (5042)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (11542)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45401) - you deserved it (8482)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (16901)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52556) - you deserved it (4619)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45345) - you deserved it (6510)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (7645)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48104) - you deserved it (5076)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61739) - you deserved it (4774)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (5731)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41116) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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