Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8134
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>FrutLoopDingus</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:00am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:33pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:56am<b>allie2590</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:08am<b>braver7315</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:43am<b>ccr386590</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:16pm<b>morrow32</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:06am<b>tonyromoy</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:36pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:49am<b>gingervitis217</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:09am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:00pm<b>baconburger300</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:50pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:45pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:05am<b>ladycarousel</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:14pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:49am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (1779)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (3435)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (1733)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (14384)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (6767)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (5014)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (5014)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (5014)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (2019)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (5859)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: