About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
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Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (10747)
On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (1771)
On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (2866)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (12884)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2729)
On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (1587)
On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66089)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20485) - you deserved it (1630)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (1526)
On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24975) - you deserved it (3315)
On 12/02/2011 at 9:40am - work - by Monday (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (2157)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (4372)
On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (4672)
On 11/29/2011 at 3:00am - love - by LadyDean - United States (North Dakota)
Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (1410)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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