About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (2066)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2843)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (44576)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (5227)
On 12/24/2011 at 9:38am - kids - by Broke Mama (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (28061)
On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (1624)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (4152)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (1693)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (6834)
On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (4964)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Monday 20 May 2013
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