Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10993
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - yesterday at 1:04am<b>anitak912</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:24pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:16pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:10am<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:49pm<b>volleyforlife31</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:24am<b>MasterPug</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:29pm<b>billboob</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:20pm<b>melissaferns</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:38pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:19pm<b>harley1077</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:55am<b>stalker99</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 10:42pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Selenetiana</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:49pm<b>ROMAD</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 1:40pm<b>chivadz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:25pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:19am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (6014)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (3878)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (3317)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (2873)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (4925)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (8414)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (2114)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (10200)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28223) - you deserved it (2238)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11954) - you deserved it (41436)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31260) - you deserved it (2362)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (2503)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: