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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14969
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>revolutionbabe</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:23am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:21pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 6:19pm<b>thatnakedguy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:13am<b>seninaa</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:50am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 9:50am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:06am<b>saladbar401</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:44pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:28pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:37am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>kcoffey_69</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:03am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am

Fucked!<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27984) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6319) - you deserved it (33761)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (2309)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (26484)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (7503)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (4645)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21851) - you deserved it (2895)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (37928)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (1895)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (2277)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (2078)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

#20019125
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (1713)

On 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm - love - by impickingyourhomegran (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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