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fightingkittens

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fightingkittens

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14037
  • Number of comments : 243
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>saladbar401</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:28pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Joel541</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>vikingchick</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 6:44am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:52am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:56am<b>blubje</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:08am<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:50am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:40am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:21am<b>deaconsmom</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:49am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:23am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:51am

Fucked!<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm<b>kiwifruitred</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 2:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:12am

fightingkittens's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (5865)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (2556)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (1769)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32763) - you deserved it (2517)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

#20090541
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (1597)

On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (6606) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (5162)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (1738)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (32823)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12609) - you deserved it (25748)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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