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fightingkittens

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

fightingkittens

29Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17017
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>cornyrob</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 5:31pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:41pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:59am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:07am<b>Ninjahiga</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:30am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:37am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:55am<b>ImaKoala</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:34am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:36pm<b>caliguy08</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:29pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:43pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:21pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:19pm<b>biggins224</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:33am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:56am<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:40am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:35am

Fucked!<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:12pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:39pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:36am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am

fightingkittens's FML badges

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

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fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (4502)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (3309)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23977) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (32072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (1847)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8872) - you deserved it (36929)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (3920)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (3939)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35438) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (3159)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)



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