Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fightingkittens

Online | Search for a member

fightingkittens

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6538
  • Number of comments : 240
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing that they not only publish the date but the day of your birth?

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>Vball6</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:55am<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:53pm<b>cattturine</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:33am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:18pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Articulation</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:54am<b>addictedtoIASIP</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:01am<b>Raxal</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:52pm<b>tg1tg1</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:44am<b>EricWinkyFace</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:42pm<b>bigdogpants</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:40pm<b>grilledchildren</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:13pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:56pm<b>bpbpbp1</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:18pm<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:57am<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:29am<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:23am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:39pm

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35234) - you deserved it (4952)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (14979)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41022) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40841) - you deserved it (4439)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (5075)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41517) - you deserved it (7857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (3804)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (5266)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (4730)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: