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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16134
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>Slayer9805</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:15pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:08pm<b>ionab101</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 2:24am<b>liebe_lule</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:44am<b>depressedpianist</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 10:57pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 12:13am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08pm<b>guzzerz89</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:54pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:29pm<b>mcduckens</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:03am<b>Mentally_Artsy</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:17am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:11am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>SilverStillwater</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:18am<b>ksbrdkntr</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 9:11am

Fucked!<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Um_bye</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am

fightingkittens's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (4843)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (12153)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (4339)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (4778)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (3824)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML


Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32434) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you deserved it (12439)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (6609)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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