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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15560
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About fightingkittens : Once upon a time I had an FML published. Unfortunately I neglected to make a proper sacrifice of watermelons and chimney sweeps to the All-Sentient Sniping and Hissing Ovarian Longitudinal Entity and as a result of this grievance, it was never credited to my profile. You can find it by searching "staph infection" in the search bar--the name on the account is accurate.

fightingkittens's page activity

Visits<b>saladbar401</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:16pm<b>wangwong</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:27pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:44pm<b>AnonymousBella</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>aswethinkweiz</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:29pm<b>doggybonez66</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Hollywood_Marine</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:19pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Girlshotdown1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:24am<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Spyderbane</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:45pm<b>rogerover</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:13pm<b>youarehigh</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:56pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:46pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:29pm<b>jedijesus</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:01pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 5:01pm

Fucked!<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:52am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:22am<b>warrenhoward42</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:20am<b>Matheo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:13pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:41am<b>Geekman2</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:15am<b>lex1459</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:05am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:37am<b>just_dorky_me</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:21am<b>lilimae2002</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:54am<b>mill2775</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:22am<b>myelias25</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:56am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:26pm

fightingkittens's FML badges


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of fightingkittens's badges

fightingkittens's favorite FMLs

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/09/2015 at 3:06am - kids - by shh (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (2295)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (1509)

On 10/08/2015 at 7:53am - animals - by Bad Mother (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by EverettA - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (1664)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML


I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (1711)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2155)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27343) - you deserved it (2014)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (3031)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (3025)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27701) - you deserved it (2105)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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