About ferrettamer : im amazing ^^
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ferrettamer's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
by danesy / 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Noname / 10/26/2008 at 5:20pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
- Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,… Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless… Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it,…