About ferrettamer : im amazing ^^
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ferrettamer's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
by danesy / 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Noname / 10/26/2008 at 5:20pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
- Today, my child support payment got sent to my daughter's father's other child's mother, so she not… Today, in front of my brother and sister, my mother loudly proclaimed that I'm her favorite child… Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her…