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fck_evry1s_lyfe

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fck_evry1s_lyfe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1133
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fck_evry1s_lyfe's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm<b>sw2f2fchik612</b> - the 04/27/2010 at 4:44pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/04/2009 at 11:25pm<b>Watchmaker</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 12:27pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm<b>DrAwesome</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 5:20pm

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fck_evry1s_lyfe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (78117)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

#4281912
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54915) - you deserved it (5756)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Michelle - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (5112)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62695) - you deserved it (6846)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (66695)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66834) - you deserved it (15306)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (26488)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (6211)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57166) - you deserved it (17196)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40402) - you deserved it (26215)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61015) - you deserved it (6521)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10609) - you deserved it (71651)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61781) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (68380)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States



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