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fayman

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:40pm) | Search for a member

fayman

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  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fayman's page activity

Visits<b>ElmoSaysSquishy</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 12:45pm<b>shhhaaarrron</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:56am<b>termin8tor786</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:35am<b>clever_name_here</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 3:27pm<b>drizzy11</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 10:51am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 6:32am

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fayman's favorite FMLs

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

#20823062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55349) - you deserved it (4313)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (8559)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (5990)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (8295)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (3849)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25245) - you deserved it (43077)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36137) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49293) - you deserved it (4755)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (5029)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (27581)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21486) - you deserved it (10039)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (1581)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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