Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fatman1970

Online | Search for a member

fatman1970

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1970 (45 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4249
  • Number of comments : 158
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About fatman1970 : Not much to look at, but a great sense of humor!

fatman1970's page activity

Visits<b>EmmaRey</b> - 19 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:28am<b>kittina</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:20pm<b>kendalbear</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:14pm<b>HotTea</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:37pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:33pm<b>julia2750</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:44pm<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:02am<b>jadeleepenguin</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:47pm<b>TheRugMan</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:12am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:41am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:56pm<b>scarlett3diaz</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:42pm<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:01am<b>boostedc</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:09am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:46am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:42pm

Fucked!<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:33am<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:02pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:56pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:26am<b>Ed1998</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:35pm<b>lily05</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 9:26pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:13pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:29pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:12pm

fatman1970's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of fatman1970's badges

fatman1970's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52115) - you deserved it (8132)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52115) - you deserved it (8132)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (34670)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (34670)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48423) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48423) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (8133)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (8133)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59659) - you deserved it (15349)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: