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fatman1970

Offline (the 02/23/2015 at 7:32pm) | Search for a member

fatman1970

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1970 (45 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3747
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About fatman1970 : Balding, overweight and ugly!

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fatman1970's favorite FMLs

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (3769)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (32533)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (32533)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (8105)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (8105)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59402) - you deserved it (15305)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59402) - you deserved it (15305)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49230) - you deserved it (8682)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (53623)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (53623)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95082) - you deserved it (20043)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)



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