Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fatman1970

Offline (the 04/08/2015 at 8:09pm) | Search for a member

fatman1970

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 January 1970 (45 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3932
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About fatman1970 : Balding, overweight and ugly!

fatman1970's page activity

Visits<b>Epiccake</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:34am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:53pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:00am<b>silveronica5</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:46am<b>giantdbloom</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:33am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:57pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:12am<b>swick25</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:20pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 5:04pm<b>SamanthaaNicolee</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:21pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Trekos</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 10:41am<b>NightSkyRider</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 4:54pm<b>laurenzie</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:34pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:59pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:20pm<b>tegraturbo2000</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 1:20pm

fatman1970's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fatman1970's badges

fatman1970's favorite FMLs

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (6115)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (3775)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (9222)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54584) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (17788)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76301) - you deserved it (3863)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48738) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (66257)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (7262)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (7262)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24680) - you deserved it (7262)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (5562)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (8642)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: